It’s Double Damage When It Comes to Bullying

Bullying is often seen as an act of power and a way to dominate or demean someone perceived as weaker. But the truth is far deeper and more painful: bullies often hurt themselves as much as the ones they target. What begins as mockery or manipulation may lead to long-term emotional, spiritual, and even physical consequences, not just for the victim but also for the bully.

When we think about bullying, we often imagine the pain inflicted on the victim (and rightfully so). I do have another post that discusses if you are a victim of a bully, but this post is to look at how bullying and mockery also wound the very soul and mind of the one who does it. Understanding this from both a biblical and scientific perspective can help us choose kindness and healing instead of cruelty.

Bullying can take many forms: physical, verbal, or social. One common form is mockery: making fun of, ridiculing, or mocking someone to shame or hurt them. Though mockery can sometimes be disguised as a “joke,” it is a serious behavior rooted in pride and often used to feel superior or deflect insecurity.   Most bullies don’t act out of confidence; they act out of pain, insecurity, or fear. Hurting others often becomes a way to avoid their own wounds. But this cycle never brings peace. Instead, it leads to loneliness, broken relationships, and self-hatred. When our hearts are full of bitterness or shame, we hurt others. But when filled with God’s love, we can’t help but pour out compassion, joy, and peace.

“Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.”
— Matthew 12:34

The brain is an organ that is the body’s control center. Beyond the physical brain, we must consider the soul, our eternal inner being that contains the mind, will, and emotions. Neuroscience shows that our brains are ‘plastic,’ if you ever heard the term neuroplasticity, meaning our brains can change based on how we live and behave.

When you bully or mock others:

·       Your brain releases stress hormones like cortisol, which over time can cause anxiety, depression, and physical illness.

·       The part of the brain responsible for empathy and self-control (the prefrontal cortex) becomes less active and can even shrink.

·       Neural pathways that focus on negativity, aggression, and criticism become stronger, making it easier to continue harmful behavior.

·       The brain’s mirror neurons—which help us feel empathy—become less responsive, making it harder to connect with others emotionally.

·       You may experience an increase in stress and emotional instability.

·       You have a higher risk for troubled relationships and isolation.

·      You might see a decline in academic or work performance.

·       And you may even see an increase in physical health risks like high blood pressure or inflammation.

In other words, bullying and mockery don’t make you stronger or more confident—they actually cause your brain to become more stressed, less compassionate, and more isolated. The Bible is also very clear that cruelty, anger, and unkindness are destructive to the one who practices them.

“A man who is kind benefits himself, but a cruel man hurts himself.”
— Proverbs 11:17

“Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”
— Romans 12:21

“The proud and arrogant person—‘Mocker’ is his name—behaves with insolent fury.”
— Proverbs 21:24

“Mockers resent correction, so they avoid the wise.”
— Proverbs 15:12

“Blessed is the one who does not sit in the company of mockers.”
— Psalm 1:1

Mockery is a sign of a hardening heart and spiritual pride. It distances us from God’s grace and stops us from growing into the kind, loving people God wants us to be. The Bible warns that sin like mockery leads to death, not just physical death, but spiritual death and separation from God:

“For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
— Romans 6:23

Some of the consequences of bullying and mockery are:

·       Broken relationships: Bullies lose trust and friendship as others avoid or confront them.

·       Emotional pain: Chronic negativity and aggression breed loneliness and depression.

·       Spiritual damage: Repeated sin like mocking separates us from God and dulls our conscience.

·       Physical health problems: Increased stress hormones can lead to heart disease, immune problems, and more.

The good news is kindness rewires the brain for good and restores the soul. Biblical kindness is not niceness. There is a difference. True kindness mimics Christ-like kindness and cares about the best interest of the other person. True Kindness has strength and self-control. Why self-control? Because: We have to be kind when we really don’t want to be.

·       Kindness releases oxytocin and dopamine, hormones that reduce stress and build social bonds.

·       It strengthens the prefrontal cortex, improving empathy and self-control.

·       Spiritually, kindness reflects God’s love and produces fruit like patience, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23).

·       Kindness opens our hearts to God’s grace and heals broken relationships.

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
— Ephesians 4:32

If you’ve been a bully or mocker:

·       Repent and ask God to change your heart (Psalm 51:10).

·       Apologize and make things right with those you have hurt.

·       Practice kindness daily—even small acts can reshape your brain and soul.

·       Guard your words: Speak life, encouragement, and love (Ephesians 4:29).

·       Surround yourself with wise, kind friends who help you grow in Christ.

Neuroscience aligns perfectly with Scripture. Studies show that kindness rewires the brain, strengthens emotional health, and even helps regulate our body’s systems:

·       Boosts “happy hormones” like oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin

·       Improves heart health and immune function

·       Reduces depression, anxiety, and inflammation

·       Strengthens empathy and emotional intelligence

Bullying and mockery aren’t just “harmless jokes,” but they are sins that hurt others and destroy the brain and soul of the person who uses them. But through Jesus, there is forgiveness and transformation. Jesus teaches that love is the true mark of His followers (John 13:34–35). When we act with hate, we disconnect from His heart, from peace, and from purpose. But when we act with kindness, we grow into His likeness. Choose the path of kindness, humility, and love—your brain will be healthier, your soul will be renewed, and your life will reflect Christ’s peace.

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”
— Galatians 6:9

References

Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health. (n.d.). Human Flourishing Program. Retrieved September 5, 2025, from https://hsph.harvard.edu/research/vanderweele-group/human-flourishing-program/

New International Bible. (2011). Zondervan. (Original work published 1978)