Grief: A Holy Process Where God Ministers to Us
Grief. Oh, how this topic and process can make us squirm. It can often be uncomfortable, confusing, and full of emotional weight. While it can look different and can be processed differently in each person, one thing is certain: God is very much involved in it. Grief is not a detour from faith, but often it’s the very path where faith matures.
In a culture that prizes positivity and quick fixes, we often misunderstand grief as a failure of faith or a lack of emotional control. However, the Bible presents a different perspective: grief serves as a sacred space, a holy process where God intervenes and transforms our souls towards healing, hope, and a deeper level of trust.
When we look to Scripture, we discover that God does not avoid our sorrow, but rather He enters into it. Scripture does not shy away from sorrow.
Abraham wept for Sarah (Gen. 23:2).
David lamented the death of his son (2 Sam. 18:33).
Jesus Himself, the incarnate Son of God, wept at the tomb of Lazarus (John 11:35).
We grieve because we love and love always feels the loss. The Psalms are filled with laments. The raw, unfiltered cries of the heart invite God into our pain rather than hide it. Over a third of the Psalms are laments. They teach us that grief is not only permitted; it is prayed for.
“How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?” (Psalm 13:1)
“My tears have been my food day and night.” (Psalm 42:3)
In these verses, grief becomes a dialogue with God, not a departure from Him. That is the beginning of holy healing. We can rest in knowing that God is at our side whether we acknowledge Him or not.
“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” – Psalm 34:18
But even knowing that God is near, we still wrestle with one of the hardest questions of faith: Why does a good God allow pain?
So, if God is good, why does He allow pain? You might ask. The Christian answer is not that God delights in suffering, but that He redeems it. The cross itself stands as the ultimate paradox, where the place of deepest agony becomes the means of greatest grace.
In Christ, God did not remain distant from human sorrow; He entered it. Isaiah 53:3 calls Him “a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief.” This is not a metaphor. The omnipotent God chose to experience the depths of loss so that none of our tears would be meaningless.
Christianity uniquely asserts that grief is not evidence of God’s absence, but it is the very arena of His presence. Through grief, God ministers to our hearts, not only comforting us but transforming us if we allow Him to.
Romans 8:28 assures us that “in all things God works for the good of those who love Him.” Even grief, perhaps especially grief, can become the place in which compassion, wisdom, and empathy grow. Interestingly, modern research echoes this biblical truth.
Modern psychology affirms what Scripture has taught all along: grief is not a disorder to be “cured” but a process to be honored. Research on human flourishing identifies meaning, relationships, and spiritual well-being as key pillars of resilience and long-term well-being.
When believers bring their pain into relationship with God and community, they experience these very dimensions of flourishing:
Meaning – Grief often clarifies what truly matters. People who process loss within a faith framework report higher levels of post-traumatic growth and purpose.
Relationships – Mourning in community (Romans 12:15: “Mourn with those who mourn”) fosters empathy and connectedness, countering isolation.
Spirituality- Prayer, lament, and Scripture meditation integrate suffering into a redemptive way. Studies show that religious coping correlates with lower rates of depression and greater emotional stability.
In short: science affirms what the Spirit inspired. Grief, when surrendered to God, can become a process of renewal. Scripture reminds us that this renewal is not self-made but Spirit-led.
In 2 Corinthians 1:3–4, Paul calls God “the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction.” Notice: comfort is not an afterthought; it’s God’s identity.
In grief, the Lord ministers to us through His Word, His Spirit, and His people.
Through His Word: The psalms of lament become our words when we have none.
Through His Spirit: Romans 8:26 tells us the Spirit “intercedes with groanings too deep for words.”
Through His people: The Church becomes the hands and heart of Christ in our sorrow.
This is not about erasing pain but transforming it. Grief doesn’t end in despair; it matures into hope. Jesus said,
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” (Matthew 5:4)
The comfort Jesus promises is not just emotional relief but the sustaining presence of God, who walks with us through the valley.
Grief, then, from a biblical and psychological lens, is not a curse to be escaped but a holy invitation to encounter the living God. It reminds us that we are finite, that love matters, and that eternity is real. It teaches us dependence, empathy, and hope. Through it all, the Lord whispers:
“Behold, I am making all things new.” (Revelation 21:5)
As we walk this holy road of sorrow and healing, Scripture offers practices that help us draw near to God in our grief:
Be honest before God. Like the psalmists, bring your true emotions to Him. God invites authenticity over appearance—He can handle your tears, doubts, and silence (Psalm 62:8).
Lament with hope. Lament is faith refusing to give up. Even when you don’t understand, continue to cry out to the One who listens (Lamentations 3:21–23).
Stay rooted in God’s Word. The Scriptures become both anchor and comfort. Meditate on passages of God’s faithfulness and promises (Psalm 119:50).
Lean into community. Allow others to mourn with you and bear your burdens (Galatians 6:2, Romans 12:15). Healing often flows through the presence of others.
Pray for a softened heart. Ask God to use grief to shape compassion, humility, and deeper trust (Ezekiel 36:26).
Wait on God’s renewal. Grief is not rushed; resurrection always follows the cross in God’s time. “Those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength” (Isaiah 40:31).
Remember eternity. Grief is temporary; glory is eternal. Every tear we shed is seen and will one day be wiped away by God Himself (Revelation 21:4).
References
New International Bible. (2011). Zondervan. (Original work published 1978).
VanderWeele, T. J., & Rathi, S. (2023). Human flourishing: Integrating health, happiness, purpose, and virtue. Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health. https://hfh.fas.harvard.edu/
