When we meet someone for the first time, we often introduce ourselves by what we do.
“I’m a teacher.”
“I’m a mother.”
“I’m a business owner.”
“I’m a student.”
“I’m a pastor.”
But what if the most important answer to the question Who are you? isn’t what you do at all?
Scripture gives us a different starting point: who we are in Christ.
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come!” (2 Corinthians 5:17).
Our identity is something we receive because we belong to Christ. Yet do we live this way?
Knowing who we are is one thing. Being willing to let God show us where we are wrong is another. And that begs the next question, are you living in an echo chamber of yourself?
What do I mean by that. I mean… are you surrounded only by voices that agree with you?
Think of modern-day AI and social media. Algorithms learn what we like. We follow people who reinforce our beliefs. We watch videos, listen to podcasts, that confirm our opinions.
But what if that isn’t the best for our mental health or for our flourishing?
What if actually hearing differences of opinion, working through ideas, and refining our theology is meant to be done in community, with accountability, for our benefit?
Here are a few self-reflective questions:
Do you take criticism well?
Do you seek people who will tell you what you want to hear, or people who will tell you what is in your best interest?
And how many voices are actually speaking into your life?
I know I’m asking a lot of hard questions fast. And that’s my point. To try and make you uncomfortable.
Here is another important question: Are any of the voices real?
It is possible to be more connected digitally while becoming increasingly isolated relationally.
And that creates a problem. Without other perspectives, we can have a very difficult time seeing our own faulty thinking. We cannot see the forest when we are standing too close to the trees.
There is a danger in becoming a victim of our own intelligence.
Intelligence is a gift. Reason is a gift. The ability to analyze, evaluate, and form conclusions is a gift from God. But even good gifts can become dangerous when they go unchecked.
We can become very good at explaining why we are right. We can gather evidence for our position. We can even construct an argument that makes perfect sense, at least to us.
And because our reasoning feels logical, we may never stop to ask whether our reasoning is actually correct.
Ouch.
Guilty.
Confess and repent.
I’m speaking to myself.
And really, I imagine many of you can relate, because it is our human nature to be prideful, to be in control, and to think we have it all figured out.
However, Scripture repeatedly calls us to ask, What does God think? That is the posture of good mental health and flourishing. One that leads us toward this kind of self-examination.
Paul writes:
“Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves.”
—2 Corinthians 13:5
The Christian life is begins with allowing God to examine us.
Ouch again.
Convicted again.
Repenting again. Thank you, Jesus, for grace and mercy.
Psalm 139 gives us one of the most beautiful prayers of self-examination:
“Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me and lead me in the way everlasting!”
—Psalm 139:23–24
Notice the posture. Search me. That requires humility.
Paul gives us another important picture of what is happening within us:
“So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.”
—2 Corinthians 4:16
There is an outer self and an inner self.
Our outer life is what people can see. Our inner life is where our thoughts, beliefs, desires, motives, fears, and attitudes reside. And the inner person matters.
Paul prays in Ephesians 3:16 that believers would be strengthened “with power through his Spirit in your inner being.”
Why?
Because what happens inside eventually affects what happens outside.
Our thoughts influence our emotions. Our emotions influence our behavior. Our beliefs influence our decisions. Our relationships expose things about us that we might never recognize on our own. This is why awareness matters. We cannot address what we refuse to see.
Every human being experiences life through multiple dimensions: cognition, emotion, physical experience, relationships, and reason. These dimensions interact with one another.
Sometimes we think we are making a purely rational decision when an emotion is quietly driving it. Sometimes we believe we are responding to what someone said when we are actually responding to what we thought they meant.
Sometimes our bodies are exhausted, our stress is high, and our perspective becomes narrower—but we interpret our conclusions as objective truth.
Awareness creates space between what we experience and how we respond.
That doesn’t mean we should distrust our minds.
It means we should check them.
And this is where community becomes so important. God did not design us to live as isolated individuals.
Proverbs 12:15 says:
“The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.”
That is a sobering verse. The problem isn’t simply that fools make bad decisions.
The problem is that the fool believes his way is right. That is why wisdom requires voices outside ourselves.
Proverbs 15:22 tells us:
“Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.”
We need people who know us well enough to recognize what we may not recognize in ourselves.
And sometimes, we need someone to say:
“I don’t think you’re seeing this clearly.”
Some of the most difficult conversations I have had are with one of my best friends. We talk openly and honestly, and often, we disagree. But what happens through our disagreements is that we see a broader picture, deeper insight, and a more expansive vision of our Lord.
I could not get that alone by myself.
So, what about the digital voices in our lives?
This becomes even more important in a world of social media, digital communities, influencers, podcasts, YouTube, and AI. We can now have thousands of voices speaking into our lives without having meaningful relationships with any of them.
Some of these relationships what we call in psychology parasocial. This is where we feel familiar with someone because we regularly watch, listen to, or interact with their content, while the relationship itself remains essentially one-sided.
We know them, but they don’t know us.
They cannot sit across the table from us and say, “Keri, that’s not actually what happened.”
And they cannot hold us accountable. We only see the outer self.
Digital relationships indeed can provide encouragement, information, education, and even meaningful connection. They are not inherently bad. But they are not a substitute for real human community.
And this becomes particularly important with AI.
AI can be incredibly useful. But AI is not a human relationship. It doesn’t replace a spouse or a trusted friend or Christian community. So Who Gets to Speak Into Your Life?
This brings us back to identity. When our identity is fragile, criticism can feel like an attack.
Correction can feel threatening.
Failure can feel devastating.
And disagreement can feel like rejection.
But when our identity is secure in Christ, we don’t have to be terrified of being wrong.
We can say:
“Maybe I need to rethink this.”
Because being wrong doesn’t destroy our identity.
Our identity is not found in being right.
It is found in Christ.
So here’s a practical exercise.
Stop for a moment and think about the voices in your headspace.
What are you currently dealing with?
What concerns are occupying your thoughts?
What goals are you pursuing?
What relationships are causing tension?
What decisions are you trying to make?
Now ask:
Whose voices are influencing how I think about these things?
Are they all saying the same thing?
Are they people who agree with you?
Are they people who know you personally?
Have you invited anyone who might challenge your assumptions?
Have you taken your thoughts to Scripture?
Have you asked God to search your heart?
Sometimes we need to turn off the screen.
Go outside. Sit quietly. Open God’s Word. Pray.
Talk to an actual person. Listen. And allow someone else to speak into our lives.
When we know who we are in Christ, we can receive correction. We can admit when we’re wrong. We can invite other voices into our lives. We can examine our thoughts instead of automatically trusting them.
And we can grow.
That is part of what it means to become more like Christ.
